Thursday, August 07, 2008

I don't even know

So I got another rejection letter from an agent today. And while it was an encouraging letter (it was personalized and he liked my funny, engaging writing), it was still a rejection letter. I've gotten rejection letters before, but this was the first one I've gotten since I reworked the entire message of the book and rewrote the entire book proposal. I know agents won't take authors if they think their books won't sell, but how do so many crappy, poorly written books sell? There's so much shit out there--so many truly awful books--how do those authors get agents? How do they get sold?

I'm just upset.

I'm upset that I might have to scrap this idea. I'm upset that I'm afraid to work on the novel I've been wanting to write for 10 years because why should I bother if that one just rots on my computer too?

I was IMing with my friend Kara earlier, who acted as my cheerleader, saying, "wouldn't it be boring if all your dreams came true right now?"

I know I'm getting married in a couple weeks and will probably have a baby in the next couple of years, but I don't feel like those are dreams coming true. I was never one of those girls who always wanted to get married and have babies. It's not to say that I don't want to marry Matt (I do, or I wouldn't be), but getting married has never been my goal. I have always wanted to write books. And it's disappointing to be reminded that I continue to fail.


Blogger Eric said...

I'm not sure how this is possibly going to be a consolation, but I wrote a book 12 years ago that isn't even worthy of a rejection letter. Genuine please-god-no-don't-tell-me-that-came-out-of-me crap. It has successfully kept me from writing more than 30 or so pages since. As a result, I kinda hate myself for not writing. What I'm trying to say is that I was happier writing than I've been not writing, even if I'm scared to death someone will find that thing and drag me through the streets for it. Plus, think of all the practice I've missed out on. My next page will only be 31 pages away from crap. One page at a time, bitches!

3:19 PM, August 25, 2008


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