Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Stacey's Wedding Speech

The speech my sister gave at my wedding was very sweet, but she kind of ad-libbed it so I wasn't able to post until now. We just got the video from the videographer and Matt transcribed it. Of note: Stacey's husband is also named Matt. Also of note: Matt's mom made several references to us staying in Brooklyn in her speech the night before.

For those of you that don't know me, I'm Stacey. I used to be Jen's little sister, but now that she weighs 105 pounds, I think I can call her my little sister. I always looked up to Jennifer as a child even though she was the kind of big sister who, when we went to Baskins and Robbins, she'd do things like this: she would say, I know Stacey, let's have an ice cream eating contest -- we'll see who can eat up all their ice cream the fastest -- and then I'd gobble up all of my ice cream and she would laugh with delight and say ha ha, I still have ice cream left and you have nothing.

Fortunately, despite being that kind of sister, she was also the kind of sister who would do anything for me at all at the drop of a hat -- from rewriting and re re rewriting my essays through college, to being a safe refuge for me when I lived with a crazy house of 8 people in New York City when I would come and escape to her -- she's been a fabulous older sister and continues to be.

Things in our household always had to be fair -- we always switch off who would sit in the front and back seat, we always had to have equal portions--when we had a piece of Bubbie's blueberry pie we looked to make sure the other person didn't have a millimeter more of pie --
and now I'm happy to say we each have our very own wonderful Matts. Now it'll be perfectly fair when they come back and move to Kansas City!

And I'm happy to say that our family really does absolutely adore Matt. Matt, you're sweet, kind funny, and the least weird person my sister has ever dated. I'm thrilled to have you marry such a wonderful man who will love and cherish you forever. You're a wonderful big sister to me and I'm so happy you're going to be a wonderful wife and mother. And Matt, I promise to never wake you up again.

So here's to a happy life for Jen and Matt living together long and healthy in Kansas.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Bah, Humbug

Matt and I spent our Christmas going to see a movie and eating an excellent meal that he cooked for me. Since we're Jewish, we don't celebrate the holiday and since we don't have kids, we're not really doing anything for Hanukkah either.

I don't like this time of the year. In fact, I kind of hate Christmas. For a few reasons.

1) It's cold and it's only getting worse. There's a huge buildup to Christmas but the letdown is that once it's over, the cold weather only gets worse for the next two months. There's nothing to celebrate or look forward to until Spring.

2) The music sucks. It's cloying, grating and never ending.

3) Sure, I'm jealous. As a crafty person, I would love to decorate a tree and my apartment. I'd be a cookie baking queen! No wonder my mom gets so obsessed with Halloween--she needs a substitute holiday.

But the worst is when people wish me a "happy holiday." You know, I would rather get a 'merry Christmas' card than a 'happy holiday' card. Why? Cause we all know what you mean. You don't mean Hanukkah, you mean Christmas.

This grinch is going to go watch the Law & Order marathon. Merry Christmas & Happy Hanukkah to all of my non-grinchy readers.


Monday, December 01, 2008

Matchmaking in NYC

I have officially turned into an old Jewish lady.

Here's the story: Matt and I are sitting at a small restaurant for lunch on the day after Thanksgiving. Since we're in NY, the space is so small that we're nearly at the the same table as the three guys next to us. And since I'm a busybody, I can't help but listen in on their conversation. It is seriously the strangest conversation I have ever heard a group of guys have with each other. Instead of talking about bars and chicks and sports, they're talking about marriage and babies. One guy starts by saying even though he and his girlfriend aren't engaged yet, they've already started planning parts of the wedding and are looking forward to having kids. The second guy chimes in by saying he definitely wants two kids, maybe three. Was I hearing correctly? Are these men actually talking like women? Yes, they seem about my age, but since when do guys have biological clocks?

After the marriage and baby talk from the first two guys, the third guy begins lamenting about how tough it is for him to find a girlfriend. "I'm really thinking about moving back to New York. I mean, the city has the highest concentration for Liberal, Democratic, Jewish girls--I have to be able to meet someone, right?"

I raise my eyebrows at Matt and he slightly shakes his head. He knows I want to barge into their conversation, but is quietly trying to discourage it. So I keep quiet while bachelor #3 goes on and on about how he wants to get married and start a family.

After we're finished eating, Matt goes to the bathroom and I jump at my opportunity. "Excuse me," I start, by leaning into their table, "Did you say that you were looking for a Liberal, Democratic, Jewish lady?"

"Yes!" he answers, enthusiastically.

"That's great, because I can help you find one," I tell him. Seriously, I know so many great, single women, but very few great, single men. By the time Matt returns to our table, all the guys have introduced themselves and my new friend and I have swapped contact information.

I'm excited to embark on my new career as Yenta Jen.