My Mother, the Enabler

I talked to my mom for over an hour last night about work, the wedding and (wee ones? whiny ones? ugh, fine, I won't go the aliteration route) babies.

I was lamenting the recent changes at my office, pondering my future there and in general.

"I don't want to leave," I said, "I like my co-workers and really have no interest in going somewhere else, but I'm not sure what's going to happen."

"Well, you could just get pregnant now," she said as if it were an answer.

"What?" Was my mom really suggesting that I get knocked up before getting married?

"Why not? We can just move up the wedding. You could move back to Kansas City. Matt could work here and you could be close by!"

"Slow down, I'm not just going to get pregnant just because I'm not sure what to do about work," I replied huffily, ignoring the fact that I had been pondering the exact same scenerio just the day before. Babies! Tiny clothes! Cuteness! And yes, yes, diapers, crying, no sleep, responsibility for forever and more unfulfilled dreams to be pushed aside for more pressing issues.

Yes, I'm 30 and engaged to be married, but that doesn't mean that I'm ready to be a mother. Why would my mom want me to have a child just because I don't know what my next step should be?

When my Bubbie thought my cousin Lisa would never marry, she urged my then 34-year-old cousin to have a baby with her boyfriend, reminding Lisa that a husband wasn't necessary. My conservative Bubbie not just condoning, but advocating having a child out of wedlock?

Why is it that the rules seem to change after you hit a certain age? When did a baby become a solution instead of just a problem?