An open letter to my pants

Dear Pants,

Recently, it's come to my attention that you're concerned about your longevity in my wardrobe. Day by day, you've noticed the influx of leggings and tights on the street--not just leggings and tights under skirts, but IN LEIU of skirts, and (shockingly), in leiu of pants. Pants! Never fear--I will not forsake you for these new half-assed, ass-showing, ass-jiggling styles. You've treated me so well over the years: protecting my legs from the cold, covering my ass from prying stares, and making me appear dressed. I have no interest in looking like I just left the gym, was tossed out of the house, or the innocent victim in a terrible fabric-eating accident.

Pants, we have a long history together; I promise you that no matter what new-fangled trends come into fashion, I will remain committed to wearing you.

Yours forever,
Jen