Rock of Love Rocks My World

My boyfriend Matt teases me about my reality-show viewing, mainly because I like to deny the fact that I watch reality tv. For a long time, I ranted and railed against the medium--why would people watch this? I cried. It's not real! Who are these people? I hate them! As reality show mania swept the nation, I scoffed at mainstays like Survivor and American Idol.

The show that broke me? Project Runway. It's a talent competition, I would explain, as a way to justify my love for / addiction to the show. But, oh my, it's talent and drama. It's fantastic. And when a friend told me about the wonders of Tyra Banks on America's Next Top Model, I was, once again, hooked.

My newest reality show find? Rock of Love. Seriously, Rock of Love rocks my world. It's the Best Show On TV. If you haven't watched it, head over to http://blog.vh1.com/utag/Series/rock-of-love/23325/ for recaps. Scroll down and start from the beginning. You won't be disappointed.

Not in the mood for recaps? Ok, here's the quickie summary of the show: Bret Michaels, Rocker and frontman of Poison, is looking for love. 25 women are sequestered in a ginormous party house vying for camera time and Bret's affection. What kind of woman would subject herself to this kind of show? Slutty, fake-boobed, tattooed, CRAZY women--in short, women who are awesome to watch on tv. Even Matt is hooked on this inked-up, silicone-infused trainwreck.

In addition to hours and hours of entertainment, Matt and I have also scored some great lines. Perhaps their sheer profoundity won't translate if you're not a viewer, but I'd like to share my favorite lines here:

1) As you know, I like to rock. (This is how Bret introduces a "rocking" challenge.)
2) Meat and no meat can't live in the same house together. (Bret's astute observation when the crazy PETA chick gets into a fight with the only black chick in the house.)
3) I like rock and I like country and that's why I wear this hat. (Rodeo's revelation. Rodeo is the mid-40s scary-buff fitness trainer who rarely appears without her cowboy hat.)

Who will win Rock of Love and Bret's heart? Heather, who swears she only started stripping to pay off her college debt? Erin, whose boobs are so massive the other girls call her "circus tits?" Jes or Sam, the only two girls who seem both fairly genuine and lacking implants (no)? I don't really care--I'm just amused by the fight.