Things Your Mom Shouldn't Say

Swearing was never a grand taboo when I was growing up. Sure, my parents didn't want me peppering my language with 'bad' words, and my dad said cursing was "unladylike," but my parents never punished me for swearing. How could they when they, my relatives, and even my Bubbie punctuated their conversations with curse words?

So, even though I've heard my mom swear, there are still certain things I never want to hear her say.

We were on the phone yesterday while she was scrolling through her email.

"Why do I have so many emails?" she asked, "I shouldn't have this many."

"Maybe they're spam," I suggested.

"Oh, look at this one--Do you want Fuck Buddy? O-kay."

"uh...."

"Do I want to enlarge my cock?"

"Mom!"

Hearing her say 'fuck' is bad enough, but I don't need to hear my mom say 'cock' for any reason.